caffeinatedfeminist:

-You cannot be sexist toward men. Sexism is based on a system of oppression. You CAN be discriminatory, rude, inconsiderate, and/or prejudiced against men but you CANNOT be sexist toward them.

-You cannot be racist towards white people. Racism is based on a system of oppression. You CAN be discriminatory, rude, inconsiderate, and/or prejudiced against white people but you CANNOT be racist toward them.

This is not difficult.

(via relatedworlds)

mswyrr:

…is that he’s a domestic violence committing, female co-star intimidating asshole. You can read the details of what he did to his female partner at the link. Regarding his treatment of female costars: Kiera Knightly didn’t want him spanking her during one of their scenes in a film & said so while tied up; in reply he said “Keira, you’re tied to a bed. You’re not really in a position to say that.” So when a woman is obviously scared and uncomfortable, his response is to scare her further, really make her feel her powerlessness to control what happens to her body. So that happened. And then some of his fans talked shit about her for not fully appreciating how wonderful it would be to get nonconsensually struck by him.

Basically, I don’t understand the attraction at all. I don’t understand. I want to push him out an airlock every time I have to see his hateful face. I want him and every other man who abuses women off my fucking planet. Kinda now.

But, yanno, I also want to shout “he freaking beat his wife!” whenever I see Sean Penn, so I guess I’m just a ~sensitive bitch~.

I find it interesting that I see their faces on my dash semi-regularly (mostly Fassbender), but apparently Chris Brown’s attractiveness isn’t sufficient to make his domestic violence inconsequential.

(via thnafu)

"Women don’t get raises — even when they ask. Forever research has told women they don’t get raises because they’re not assertive enough, not because men are sexist or anything silly like that. Turns out it does have something to do with discrimination. Even pushy women don’t get raises. Looking at thousands of MBA grads, research from Catalyst, a a non-profit research organization that focuses on businesses, found no significant difference in the proportion of men and women who asked for raises or promotions. Yet, the women received slower compensation growth than the women who said nothing at all, whereas for the men it paid off."

—

pushy women don’t get raises either: the atlantic

a longer article at the washington post

the original study (free access)

Fuck everything, etc etc.

(via whineandbeer)

(Source: ourcatastrophe, via inmymimeseye)

cesaret:

mahuika:

lucy-in-the-soup-with-croutons:

Basically the shortest, yet most accurate, commentary on the differences between ads geared towards men and women I’ve ever seen.

AND YOUR CHILDREN’S CLOTHES ARE FILTHY

god, so accurate.

Jesus, women, sort yourselves out.

(via thnafu)

well-behavedwoman:

dancetinadance:

Sociology of the Weird: Gaslighting, emotional manipulation and male privilege…

weirdsociology:

This is a tremendously important read for all of my friends, so that the ones who identify as female can understand what might be happening to them, and the ones who identify as male can never, ever do it.

And this is the sort of emotional manipulation that feeds an epidemic in our country, an epidemic that defines women as crazy, irrational, overly sensitive, unhinged. This epidemic helps fuel the idea that women need only the slightest provocation to unleash their (crazy) emotions. It’s patently false and unfair…

I want to introduce a helpful term to identify these reactions: gaslighting.

Gaslighting is a term, often used by mental health professionals (I am not one), to describe manipulative behavior used to confuse people into thinking their reactions are so far off base that they’re crazy….

The form of gaslighting I’m addressing is not always pre-mediated or intentional, which makes it worse, because it means all of us, especially women, have dealt with it at one time or another.

Those who engage in gaslighting create a reaction—whether it’s anger, frustration, sadness—in the person they are dealing with. Then, when that person reacts, the gaslighter makes them feel uncomfortable and insecure by behaving as if their feelings aren’t rational or normal.

My mother has dealt with unintentional gaslighting from the males around her for years; it’s been tremendously troubling to her, and was equally tremendously freeing when she could put a name to what was happening.  Other friends seem to be dealing with it in their own relationships.  It’s damaging, far more damaging than you might imagine from such small remarks.

For myself, it was the reason my father and I practically didn’t speak for four years.  “It makes me feel wounded when you say or do x,” I would say, trying to a.) pick a time when he was in a good mood and wouldn’t yell at me because he was working on something else or doing something where talking was deemed unacceptable (like breakfast), and b.) putting all of the emphasis on I feel statements like he insisted I do if I wanted to be heard out. 

“That’s not my fault,” my father would insist. “You’re taking it that way, but I don’t mean it that way.”

BAM!  Gaslighted.  Conversation shut down.  My emotional reaction was wrong, so he didn’t need to do anything different. What I should have said: “You’re refusing to accept responsibility for your actions.  Yes, it was how I reacted that made me feel wounded.  But in any decent [friendship/romantic relationship/familial relationship] both parties would be willing to put in effort.  If you can’t meet me halfway, this is an unhealthy relationship based on power and not love.”

It took me a long time to get it, and a long time for Dad to stop freakin’ doing it! but we’re okay now. 

tl;dr Gaslighting sucks.  Don’t let anyone get away with that shit.

hmmm…*walks away to ponder*

 Only heard this term for the first time a few years ago and now I feel like I see it around me more and more. It is very upsetting. Don’t walk away from an argument thinking “I’m crazy.” when your partner upsets you. Walk away thinking, “What just happened to me was upsetting and my reaction is legitimate.” It’s a very hard thought process to get out of.

"

Men who want to flirt with women have to realize: Women live in a state of continual vigilance about sexual safety. It’s like having a mild case of hay fever that never goes away. It’s not debilitating. You’re not weak. You’re not afraid. You just suck it up and get on with your life. It’s nothing that’s going to stop you from making discoveries, or climbing mountains, or falling in love. Sometimes you can almost forget about it. It doesn’t mean it’s not there, subtly sucking your energy. You learn to avoid situations that make it worse and seek out conditions that make it better.

If a female stranger is wary around you, it is not because she suspects you are a rapist, or that all men are rapists. It’s because a general level of circumspection is what vigilance requires. Don’t take it personally.

If this frustrates you, try to remember that women are blamed for lapsed vigilance. If a woman does get raped, everyone rushes to see where she let her guard down. Was she drinking? Was she alone? Was she wearing a short skirt? Did she go to a strange man’s room for coffee at 4am?

A woman must be seen to be vigilant as well as be vigilant. If she is deemed insufficiently vigilant, she will be at least partly blamed for any sexual violence that befalls her. If she’s regarded as downright reckless, that “evidence” can be used to completely exonerate her rapist. If it comes down to a he said/she said dispute over whether sex was consensual, as so many rape cases do, the dispute becomes a referendum on whether the woman seems like the sort of reckless person who would have sex with a stranger.

If a woman does go back to a strange man’s hotel room at 4am, even if she only wants a coffee and conversation, she’s more or less given him the power to rape her. No jury is going to believe she went up there for anything but sex. So, don’t be surprised if a stranger reacts badly to that suggestion.

"

—

Attention, Space Cadets: Do Not Proposition Women in the Elevator (via petitefeministe)

A very good friend of mine and I had a big disagreement about the Richard Dawkins/Rebecca Watson deal. I was so upset at him for agreeing with Dawkins (while still admitting he was too harsh), I had to stop the conversation completely twice. It’s been about a week, and I’m still not quite to the point that I feel like I can speak with him right now.

This is so much bigger than one woman being afraid on an elevator. I simply do not understand why anyone would look down on her for what she said. She never attacked him, never slandered him, never did anything wrong. She expressed her fear, the same fear that millions of people feel constantly, on her own personal blog.

If someone were to ask me out or show interest in me while I was walking up my driveway or towards my car at night, there is no way that I would look at that situation as anything other than a scary one. Because we’re trained to be vigilant. We’re trained to constantly be ready to fight off an attacker.

(via magoza)

(via urlcannotendinahyphen)

damonsgoldtoof:

degausse:

juan less lonely blog: Anthony Weiner resigning is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard and I…

thechosenjuan:

Anthony Weiner resigning is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard and I firmly believe that war heroes being celebrated in the government while every goddamn political representative has to be completely sexually repressed is one of this nations worst qualities.

The fact that a man cannot express…

Some of those photos were unsolicited.

So if I wake up with a dick in my inbox, a dick I didn’t want there, damn right I would be pissed.

This is beyond him being a good politician. Yes, he stands up for the things he believes in (and some of that stuff is good for me but other things I do not agree with) but it seems to me that people want to forgive him for these things and it’s not okay. Of course the other extremely rich white republican men won’t get chastised. So does that mean he’s allowed to get away with this? How does this show he respects women with all of the policies he tries to defend? It doesn’t. That is harrassment. 

I think this is a good article to read and I understand that people like him and are loath to say the types of things that I am but it doesn’t do me any favors to say that him doing this was an expression of sexual urges or okay. Sure we are puritanical but a lot of times we can be hypersexual. Honestly, I don’t think that is a good way to come at this conversation. I would love to see why we spend so much time and attention on white men in politics and their digressions and the different rhetoric surrounding it but this uproar is disheartening.

reblogging this to read in the morning

brb throwing up sandwich out of my window and falling off my bed

(via thnafu)